The Onion

210,256 views 10 months ago

Finally, we can be proud of paper again: The Onion returns to print, and you can be part of it. Visit membership.theonion.com.

Onion News Network

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The Onion News Network has returned. 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, from now until the end. Not watching is an act of defiance.

God's Penis Visible In Night Sky For First Time In Millennia | Onion News Network

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513K views8 months ago

JD Vance Under Fire For Resurfaced Remarks Criticizing Childless Children | Onion News Network

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392K views8 months ago

Voters Warned Ballots Flushed Down Toilet Will No Longer Be Counted | Onion News Network

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225K views8 months ago

Trump Vows To Outlaw Electricity To Secure Powerful Amish Vote | Onion News Network

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953K views8 months ago

U.S. Deploys Socially Awkward Men Along Border To Deter Migrants | Onion News Network

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1.7M views7 months ago

New Trump Ad Shows Montage Of People He’ll Kill If Elected | Onion News Network

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991K views7 months ago

Videos

Congress, Now More Than Ever, We Need Your Cowardice

56K views8 hours ago

The Onion Film Standard: 28 Years Later Review

37K views2 days ago

Man Opens Up About Childhood Trauma Of Being Forced To Put On Jammies

59K views10 days ago

JD Vance Rushed To Walter Reed After Inner Hillbilly Returns | Onion News Network

271K views2 weeks ago

213 Killed In How Do You Pronounce That?

286K views3 weeks ago

U.S. Military Bans Men With Girl Names From Participating In Combat

272K views1 month ago

Onion Film Standard

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The Onion's head film critic Peter K. Rosenthal examines movies both new and old.

The Onion Reviews 'The Fast And The Furious'

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137K views9 months ago

The Onion Film Standard: Deadpool & Wolverine

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145K views10 months ago

The Onion Film Standard: Shazam! Fury Of The Gods

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96K views2 years ago

The Onion Film Standard: John Wick: Chapter 4

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169K views2 years ago

The Onion Film Standard: Oscars Edition

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73K views2 years ago

The Onion Reviews ‘Scream VI’

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58K views2 years ago

Now: Focus

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The Onion puts a face on the most pressing issues of our time.

Ozempic User Explains How Weight Loss Changed The Way People Slapped Her Belly

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145K views2 months ago

Former Cult Leader Reveals How He Escaped Needy Followers

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290K views3 months ago

CEO’s Son Explains Why He Refuses To Let Father Help Him Sexually Harass Subordinates

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184K views3 months ago

Immigrant Criticizes Swimsuit Competition Portion Of U.S. Citizenship Test

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120K views3 months ago

Doctor Warns Of Damaging Effects Child Obesity Having On Mall Santas | Onion Now: Focus

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117K views6 months ago

College Student Explains What Its Like To Be First In Family Forced To Drink Own Urine In Frat House

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130K views6 months ago

Sex House

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Sex House - Reunion - Ep. 10

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3.1M views12 years ago

Sex Climax - Sex House - Ep. 9

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3.3M views12 years ago

Orgy Scheming - Sex House - Ep. 8

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5.3M views12 years ago

Sex In A Bottle - Sex House - Ep. 7

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5.4M views12 years ago

Dr. Sex - Sex House - Ep. 6

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5.8M views12 years ago

Banana Sex Olympics - Sex House - Ep. 5

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7.6M views12 years ago